Leaving Holland 5

Written as a continuation of “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley.  My point of view as a parent mourning the loss of a child with special needs.  This won’t make sense you have not read the above “Welcome to Holland”

So, you were expecting a trip to Italy and got re-routed to Holland.  It seemed to take a while but you became accustom to Holland, it’s terms, technology, and expectations.  Some would even say that you have become an advocate for trips to Holland, an ambassador if you will.  You started making plans and expectations for your future in Holland.  You could even say you are excited for what the future holds for your stay.

You awake one morning to realize that your trip to Holland has come to an unexpected end.  You have come to LOVE Holland, and now you are being told to leave?  You had plans, things left to do and see, but you have to leave.  You have made friends, contacts, and started Welcoming Committees for new comers, but it is time to leave.

You leave Holland with wonderful memories of the tulips, the first windmill you saw, the beautiful Rembrants you got to see, and who could forget the wooden shoes.  You will take with you amazing memories of your stay in Holland, although unplanned and unexpected, it was an AMAZING trip.  You have made equally amazing friends, that will remain friends long after you trip is over.  You will continue to be an advocate for Holland, knowing that a stay there will forever change your life.  You will continue to support others making an unexpected trip to Holland, assuring them that they too, will have a trip of a lifetime.

However long or short your stay, you will realize that you are so very thankful for the unexpected turn of events that lead you to Holland.  You leave, hoping that you help make Holland a better place than when you arrived.  Then you realize, you might be leaving Holland, but Holland will, for the rest of your life, be apart of you.

In loving memory of Kade M. Bauman 02/07/08 – 10/14/2011

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5 thoughts on “Leaving Holland

  • blogzilly

    You know, I have been trying so hard to think of anything to say, anything worthy…but after a while I decided that I just could no longer go on saying NOTHING, as it wasn’t right.

    I just feel so bad for your family. So drained for you. I cannot imagine the level of pain of your loss.

    Back in 2001, a little boy living across the street from us named Cooper, almost 3 years old, died suddenly. He contracted Meningitis, which escalated into Encephalitis…this all happened in less than a week. It was shocking.

    I wasn’t even a parent then, and so when I watched the parents at the calling hours, at the funeral and at the reception afterwards I saw the level of pain they were in, and I was very moved and saddened by it, but I didn’t have the level of appreciation and understanding I do today of what it means to BE a parent so much of the scope of it was lost on me.

    And I wasn’t a Special Needs parent either…and now going through THIS journey, well, that changes one’s perspective yet again, and gives an entirely different appreciation for everything, especially life.

    So now, today, the idea of losing a child has a whole different level of meaning and depth, one that shakes me to the core, so much so that it has taken me this long to even write you a note and say anything about your overwhelming loss.

    I’m sorry Josh. I really am. Your words are beautiful, of course. And I hope that you are doing…OK. That your family is providing each other all the love and support that you all can. That’s really all I got.

    Take care my brother…


  • H.L.C.

    Our son Bryan passed on August 19th 2010. We lived in Holland for 12 years. It has been so hard to leave but you are right…it never leaves you. Thank you for your beautiful words. God bless you and your family. Heather

  • Jo

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are beautiful, even though they made me cry. Please, I don’t ever want to leave Holland. While I don’t remember signing up to come here, it is home now. Prayers for your sweet family.

  • Tracy McGinnis

    Wow….I am sitting here bawling my eyes out right now. You see, I don’t want to ever leave my Holland, but I know that one day, I too will have to leave it. My 7 year old son is severely disabled, medically fragile. My heart goes out to you, but also thanks you for sharing your heart with us in this lovely way. Thank you! God bless and comfort you and your family….and may all our angels light up the Heavens so we can see our way into, through, and one day out of, Holland. Tracy M. http://www.cmvfoundation.org

  • D. S. Walker

    Mommiesof Miracles shared this post on FB & I will share it too. Your post is beautiful beyond words. I only wish the reason for the post was that Kade had grown into a young man and not that he has gone to heaven. God bless you and your family! You are all in my prayers!

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